so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
