we have pet lesbian snakes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
