Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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