census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
