I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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