he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
