I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
