glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
