Don't you send me to vm
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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