There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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