he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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