i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
