did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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