so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
