Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
