im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
