a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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