Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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