So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
In America we eat man semen.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
