They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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