yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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