party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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