You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
