Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
