I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
