YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
