I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
