Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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