yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
