I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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