I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
