i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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