How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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