Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Also, beer. Big fan.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
