what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
