Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
