We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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