lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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