Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
