matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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