We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
