New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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