Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
