If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
