And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
