I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
