just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
