guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
is wine microwaveable?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
