I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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