im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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