he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
