he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
